performance
This thought kept echoing through my head last night as I was lying in bed…
If all we do when we’re together is some kind of performance, then what are we doing? If our actions around one another are performed, as if we are actors in a play, then what does this say about our “community?” What, indeed.
Who knows who you really are? Do you have a certain way of speaking around this group of people and another around that group? To a certain degree, I understand that – identifying with people, “all things to all people” and all that. But I’m fairly certain that didn’t mean that we were to become actors on a stage – pretenders – performers.
Priests, Pastors, Deacons, other church leaders – How do you behave around the people whom you serve? Are you in a performance mode? Are your speech patterns different than they normally would be? Do you answer questions in a way you might think you’d be expected to answer them? Who are you? Do those among whom you serve really know?
And this is not just about leaders. Other members of the Church – Who are you? How do you behave and speak around your siblings in the community? Here’s a good one – How do you speak and behave around and with those who are in leadership in your communities? I’m not sure we’re honest enough with ourselves to fully answer that question much of the time. We may not want to know the answer.
Back to the original question – If we are in a constant mode of performance, where is any kind of real community? How does it form? I’ll tell you what I think: It doesn’t. We have a stunted form of real Christian community, but we don’t really understand it. We’re not fully benefiting from the kind of transformational power which is meant to flow through the community itself. I believe we’re blocking it. We clog the arteries of the Body of Christ. Clogged arteries are an imperfect, broken situation. They require surgery, generally, to correct.
So, the solution to this kind of problem is not simple. It’s not merely about preaching a few good sermons or getting people to go to confession more. It’s a deep and complicated brokenness. It begins, and possibly ends, with us – each of us coming to the realization of what’s going on and doing what belongs to the solution. One part of that solution, I believe, is to take our make-up off, get off our respective “stages,” put our “scripts” away and begin living our real lives as the real people we are.
what i am and what i’m not v.2 > one
A few years ago, I wrote a series of posts by this name. They all ended up being picked up, combined, as an article on Next Wave, an e-zine of which I used to actually be on the editorial team. These posts were generally concerning the emerging church, its various “parts” and what I was or was not identifying myself with at the time. You can read the whole series as one article here on Next Wave. The info at the bottom is now inaccurate, but I think the article is still relevant in some ways.
So, I thought I would write a 5-year follow-up version of this… well, right now. I think I’ll start with a few things that I am not. It seems easier, for some reason, to say what you are not. They go hand in hand, though, of course. I’ll bounce back and forth I suppose.
One more thing about this: One of the reasons I’m doing this now is that I have found myself afraid of saying what I think lately. I fear “getting in trouble” or making someone mad, or making someone think badly of me. I fear too much. If I have to go around being afraid of what will happen to me if I say x or y, I don’t want to be where I’m at any more – so here we go…
On spiritual and ecclesiastical matters…
I am not (thank you Jim Gaffigan) what might be called a “Shiite Catholic.” Now, certainly, I am a Catholic Christian, but I’m more honestly concerned about the Christian part than the Catholic part of that description. Every word that comes out of the Pope’s mouth doesn’t thrill me very much. My spiritual life is not dependent on Church law. In fact, the whole concept of “Canon Law” makes me a little nauseous. I’ve gone into that before. I won’t take up your time fleshing that out again. These are, by the way, thoughtful and considered statements, not just your standard “I don’t like this or that” kind of business.
Sure, I believe there is a certain “fullness” to be found in the Catholic Church which has been preserved over the last 2,000 years, some of which I’m not seeing in some other expressions of Christianity. That’s my experience. Does that mean I believe we are superior to other Christians and that being Catholic is the only “real” way to be a complete and utter Christian? No – not in my understanding of the ecclesiastical economy anyway. I’m not fond of that kind of thinking, not fond at all. That’s a very mild way of putting it – very mild.
The Christian family is, to borrow a phrase from Thomas Merton, a Body of broken bones. I know the official line is supposed to be that we’re praying that we all get back together in one, unified entity, i.e., the Catholic Church, but I’m not seein’ it. There have been times when this was more or less the case, but never fully. There have always been splinters and groups here and there who weren’t a part of the larger group. Some of them were certainly wackadoodle (very technical theological language there), but not all to the same extent. Anyway, once again, I won’t try to flesh this totally out here. I just want to say that I see Jesus alive and working in all the parts of His Body. Catholics aren’t the only part. Our Church doesn’t really even teach that, but there are a chunk of our number who seem to believe it. God is surely even at work in and through other religions, other than Christianity – and yes, I know we have said that as well.
Now, perhaps (one never knows these things), I have been labeled a “liberal” by someone reading this. Lovely. In some things, maybe I am. God’s Mercy – liberal. His Love and salvation – liberal. You get the picture. I could run down a list for you and it would be a mish-mash of what some would label as liberal or conservative. If one has to use these terms, and I guess we do, I’d have to say I was a moderate. “Oh, you mean wishy-washy, not committed to anything.” Yeah, sure, whatever you want to think – go for it. No, I mean I’m not, generally, an extremist. “Extremes are vicious,” someone said, someone big. I believe it, again for the most part.
I guess, using the analogy I began with, I’m more of a “Sufi Catholic.”
I’m in that Monastic/Mystical strain I suppose. Canon Law, not so much. Mystical union with God, yes please. “Can’t have one without the other” – uuh, I don’t think so. Not so much the Institution – more with the Grace that the Institution has helped (and unfortunately sometimes hindered) carry down through the ages. The central Truths, the Sacraments, the concept of transformational union with God in Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit, the deep spiritual life (ideas and practices) – the great both/and, not the great this/only.
So, I’ve discovered that this is going to take longer than one post – just like last time. Of course. I’ll do my best to continue this. Stay tuned.
magdalen > pray for us > repost
OK, I’m doing this again. Instead of writing something new on Mary Magdalen, on this her feast day, I’m reposting something I wrote in 2005, in December for some reason. So, read, think, enjoy. Peace to you.
St. Mary Magdalen. I know it’s not her feast day or anything, at least not that I know of. I was just thinking of her. I probably heard something on a show I saw on Discovery or somewhere, something like that. I have often thought this and have rarely said it. Sooo, what’s the big damn deal if she was a prostitute? Seriously. If indeed, she was a prostitute and then answered a call to follow Christ, knew Him, learned from him, and then was a part of making Him known – so what. Is that a bad thing? Well, it’s a thing, for sure. It may even be a good thing.
Here’s what I mean: If there was this woman named Mary from Magdala and this woman was a prostitute for whatever reason – if that is so and this woman encountered God in the flesh, Jesus the Christ and was changed by the Life she encountered in Him, then we should glorify God. Does this make me think less of Mary? No. I said no. It doesn’t at all. I don’t even understand that. I don’t understand where that information about her past (if it was so) would make anyone feel that she was dirty or unworthy or anything of the sort – any more than the rest of us. Paul was effectively a murderer of Christians for God’s sake and he announced that to be true. What is there in this alleged prostitution conspiracy that could harm Mary at all compared to that? Nothing. It’s ridiculous.
It would seem to me that anyone espousing such a theory is the person who has something against prostitutes, who would for some reason feel a woman “disqualified” for whatever for having been one. I’m not sure but I think there are numerous churches named after this sanctified former prostitute. I’m pretty sure people all over the world venerate her and pray asking for her intercession. Why? Because she was a notorious follower of Jesus – because she was committed and stayed with Him when others fled in fear – because of her great faith. Perhaps her escape from that life through Christ has caused a greater harvest of gratitude and thanksgiving in the world than if it had been some otherwise “upright” woman in not so much need of radical salvation.
Unless of course you want to make some kind of case that it’s just fine and dandy to continue to be a prostitute – that this is a legitimate life-choice for someone and that there is no need of “salvation” for such a person. I don’t think you want to do that. But that’s no different than any other fallen state of any other person whom Jesus came to Love and raise up into full and true humanity. So, let’s stop trying to make big deals where no deals need be made. I couldn’t care less if Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. Nobody said she was turning tricks out of the upper room. Crazy. Mary is you. Mary is me. We all might as well have been prostitutes or murderers. It doesn’t matter. And if it does matter, it matters because of the great Love and Power of God that came to bring us back to life anyway – despite our unworthiness. Pray for us Mary of Magdala, that we may answer the call as well as you did.




012